{"id":5915,"date":"2024-11-06T21:54:12","date_gmt":"2024-11-07T05:54:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sandiegohumor.com\/?p=5915"},"modified":"2026-02-08T14:08:49","modified_gmt":"2026-02-08T22:08:49","slug":"california-thieves-move-to-oregon-prop-36","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandiegohumor.com\/california-thieves-move-to-oregon-prop-36\/","title":{"rendered":"Prop 36 Passes, Making Repeat Theft a Felony \u2013 California Thieves Consider Moving to Oregon"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"\"><em>California, USA<\/em> \u2014 With the passage of Proposition 36, California voters have sent a clear message to habitual shoplifters, petty thieves, and professional impulse-takers: repeat offenders will now face felony charges, even if they swipe items under $950. As a result, the state\u2019s professional thief community is reportedly weighing its options, with Oregon emerging as a top contender for relocation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">\u201cI mean, this is California, you know? We\u2019re supposed to be chill about a little bit of unapproved borrowing,\u201d said Randy \u201cTwo-Fingers\u201d Johnson, a long-time Los Angeles purse snatcher and unofficial spokesperson for the coalition of small-time bandits now planning their next move. \u201cBut three years in state prison for taking a pair of shoes? That\u2019s, like, serious time. So we\u2019re all looking at Oregon. Word is, they\u2019re way more lenient up there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">According to sources, Oregon\u2019s current laws for low-level thefts appear less restrictive than Prop 36\u2019s new mandates. Johnson and his fellow petty crime practitioners are even organizing a Facebook group titled \u201cOregon Bound\u201d to streamline the transition. \u201cIf California\u2019s gonna crack down, we\u2019ll just take our skills somewhere with better conditions,\u201d he added. \u201cI hear Portland\u2019s got a killer selection of artisanal mugs and barely secured bicycles.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Meanwhile, Oregon residents have taken to social media to voice concerns over the anticipated \u201cpetty crime migration.\u201d Several Portlanders tweeted worries about \u201cCalifornia\u2019s entrepreneurial spirit coming north,\u201d prompting Oregon lawmakers to discuss preventive measures, including what one official called a \u201cscouting phase\u201d for repeat offenders.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>California, USA \u2014 With the passage of Proposition 36, California voters have sent a clear message to habitual shoplifters, petty thieves, and professional impulse-takers: repeat offenders will now face felony &#8230; <a title=\"Prop 36 Passes, Making Repeat Theft a Felony \u2013 California Thieves Consider Moving to Oregon\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/sandiegohumor.com\/california-thieves-move-to-oregon-prop-36\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Prop 36 Passes, Making Repeat Theft a Felony \u2013 California Thieves Consider Moving to Oregon\"> <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5918,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_yoast_wpseo_focuskw":"","_yoast_wpseo_title":"","_yoast_wpseo_metadesc":"Satire News: Prop 36 makes repeat theft a felony and California thieves consider relocating to Oregon. Criminal justice gets a twist.","_yoast_wpseo_linkdex":"","_yoast_wpseo_content_score":"90","nf_dc_page":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5915","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satire","infinite-scroll-item","generate-columns","tablet-grid-50","mobile-grid-100","grid-parent","grid-33","no-featured-image-padding"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Prop 36 Passes, Making Repeat Theft a Felony \u2013 California Thieves Consider Moving to Oregon - SanDiegoHumor<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Satire News: Prop 36 makes repeat theft a felony and California thieves consider relocating to Oregon. 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