Facing a $31 million budget hole and rapidly dwindling reserves, the City of San Diego announced this week an innovative plan to sell naming rights to every pothole on city streets. The new initiative, dubbed ‘Potholes for Prosperity,’ promises to turn each axle-destroying crater into a lucrative branding opportunity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cForget stadiums! The real action is on our roads,\u201d exclaimed Mayor Todd Gloria, while nervously dodging a sinkhole on Fifth Avenue. \u201cImagine driving over the Qualcomm Quagmire or sipping your coffee as you swerve around the Amazon Abyss.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For as little as $49.99, local businesses\u2014and desperate influencers\u2014can immortalize themselves on San Diego\u2019s beloved bone-shakers. Early rumors suggest that La Jolla residents are bidding aggressively to sponsor their own driveways, to keep them pothole-free or perhaps just to make them look more exclusive (\u201cWelcome to the Rolex Road Rash\u201d).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
City officials stress that naming a pothole does not guarantee its repair, but perks include commemorative plaques, GPS navigation updates, and a special mention every time a AAA tow truck is dispatched to the site.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe see this as a win-win,\u201d said the city’s CFO, as he calculated whether the city could also sell naming rights to the periods of silence after daily budget meetings. \u201cThe more potholes we have, the richer San Diego becomes!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The city expects enough revenue to make up for the SDG&E shortfall, or at least provide fresh paint for the \u2018GoFundMe Gulch\u2019 on El Cajon Boulevard.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"